11 August, 2012

What NOT To Spend Money On -- If You Like Having Money....

Online Dating Sites

Of course you can join for free, but there's always a catch. You can purchase the premium package and see a shit ton of profiles of the same people that you can see walking the streets every day. Why waste money "meeting" people online when you can walk outside and actually, well, meet people? If you are introverted, shy, or just socially awkward and use your pc as a security blanket to hide behind just take some friendly advice; pay for counseling and learn how to meet people the old fashioned way - face-to-face. Start by saying, "Hello, my name is _________, and yours?". That seems to get them every time, for me at least. Besides, people can always embellish or make themselves seem more interesting by editing out the bad and emphasizing the good, which is what online profiles are meant to do. Every dating site wants to appear to have the "pick of the litter", but nobody's perfect. Wouldn't you rather find this out by first impression? It's a whole lot easier and wastes less time and energy.

Pyramid Schemes/Home-Based Businesses/Networking Enterprises AKA Gimme-Yo-Paycheck

If the promise of building your income is draped in a $500 one-time membership fee with the benefit of easy money and networking opportunities, this is probably not an opportunity, but a come up for the seller. It's also too good to be true. If you were contacted by an acquaintance from middle school, who would be "so happy to see you" to discuss "business opportunities", don't walk, don't jog, but RUN in the other direction. The people who sully friendships and acquaintanship for a one-time profit have no integrity and no shame in the exploitative nature which pyramid schemes thrive on. Playing on desperation and naivete, these schemes and ploys to make more money by spending more money are the epitome of what this great country thrives on -- free will. Be careful and judge wisely.


I was up at 4am flipping through channels, and to my surprise the ONLY two options for my viewing pleasure were either televangelists selling oil blessed by "his holiness" with a promise of bringing "bountiful blessings upon thee", and QVC selling what I thought were some pretty high-end hangers. I actually considered buying some (the hangers, that is). I've always wondered if people actually call in to order a tiny capsule of baby oil bottled up and prayed over (allegedly) by someone with two last names. You know, Thomas Richard or Kenny James. Televangelists are so convincing it's like they actually believe every ounce of what they're saying. Almost so convincing that I want to send them all of my money and order a bottle of holy oil for everyone I know! That is, until they show video clips of hungry children from 1993 and I get to thinking, you haven't fed those kids YET? What are ya'll doing with all of the money? Hmmmmm....come to think of it I've never seen a skinny televangelist...makes you wonder--who's really starving...Not the televangelists! These are frauds as well. Real evangelists travel on foot.I think the last one's name was Jesus.

Weight-Loss Gimmicks

You are NOT going to lose weight by taking a pill. In fact, if anyone tells you that you will lose weight by putting anything IN your mouth, it's a lie! I actually took those pills that Anna Nicole Smith endorsed before she died. I stopped taking them -- when she died. I think they were called Xenadrine. They made me sleepy, and I started eating more because I was hungry every time I woke up from a nap. And Anna was so pretty. I was convinced that I would look like her -- blonde hair and all. Oh well. At least I tried. Don't be a fool like I was. Work out, eat more vegetables and don't drink pop. The best weight loss plan that I ever had came from being broke. I ate chicken and rice for a month and I looked like a cancer patient. Skinny ain't for everybody. Just don't get caught up into those shortcut easy diets -- they never work. Never.

Have you been tricked into spending money on something frivolous that, at the time, seemed like a really good idea or investment? If so don't be ashamed. In fact you should tell your friends and family about it because you may be helping someone out in the long-run.

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